# Twelve: You, Two Sisters

Utku Kaynar · 2026-09-29 · https://utkukaynar.io/posts/letters-12-en/

> A letter to Ada and Maya about sisterhood, their differences, and choosing to be there for each other throughout life.


*Tuesday, September 29, 2026 / Lakeway, Texas*

Ada and Maya,

For the first time, I am writing this letter to both of you. There is a reason for that: today we will talk about what exists between you—sisterhood. And sisterhood is something you share, something neither of you can describe alone.

This morning at breakfast, you were arguing about something again. I cannot even remember what it was; a spoon or a chair, I think. Five minutes later, you were on the same couch, snuggled up together, laughing at the same cartoon. That is exactly what sisterhood is, my girls. Fighting and forgetting five minutes later. Being jealous and still being the first to run over and share the news. Being the person who annoys you the most and understands you best.

Can I tell you something? However much your mother and I love you, we cannot be beside you for your entire lives. That is nature's rule. But you will witness each other's lives almost from beginning to end. For most people, their longest relationship is not with their parents, their spouse, or their children; it is with their sibling. One day, only the two of you will remember this house, this kitchen, these mornings, those hot Texas summers, our strange jokes. You will hold the shared memory of your childhood.

Let me tell you a little about science, too; you know I like doing that. Siblings share, on average, half their genes. You come from the same mother and the same father, but each of you gets a different mix of those genes. Like two different hands dealt from the same deck. And even though you grow up in the same house, you do not have the same childhood. Ada, you were the first to arrive in this home; Maya, you came to a home where there was already a big sister. Two separate worlds inside the same house. That is why you are so alike and yet so different.

Cherish those differences. One of you may be louder, the other quieter. One of you may be more drawn to books, the other to the world outside. Grown-ups will sometimes compare you: "Your big sister was like this," "Your little sister does that"… Pay them no mind. You are not each other's rivals; you are companions on the journey. One of you succeeding takes nothing away from the other. Love is not like a cake that gets smaller as you divide it; on the contrary, it grows as you share it. Your mother and I learn that anew every day through loving the two of you.

You will feel jealous; that is perfectly normal. You will feel hurt, and sometimes you will think you have been treated unfairly. Sometimes you will be right. But remember this: even when you fight, you are on the same team. Winning an argument is not worth losing your sister. You will first learn how to apologize and forgive with each other; you will need those two skills a great deal in the rest of your lives.

Ada, as the big sister, you will sometimes have to be patient. I know that is not always easy. You will be the one showing Maya the way, but remember that she will teach you things, too. Sometimes she will remind you to look at the world as though you were seeing it for the first time.

Maya, you will follow in your sister's footsteps, but never be afraid to make your own path. You do not have to be like your sister; you are already whole just as you are.

When I wrote about family in the sixth letter, I said that family is defined not by blood but by love, respect, and acceptance. You two are lucky enough to be family both by blood and by choice. You were born sisters; being each other's friends is something you will choose over the years, through care and effort. I hope you choose each other every time.

One day, life will take you to different cities, perhaps different countries. Just as it did with me and your uncle Başar. Call each other. Be the first person to call on a hard day and the first to hear the good news. Be that safe harbor for each other.

You are two sisters. That is one of the most beautiful gifts life has given you. Cherish it.

With love,  
Dad.